(LifeSiteNews) – Canada’s Chief Public Health Officer Dr. Theresa Tam and her team have put out what might be the most cringe thing that the Canadian government has ever done. And considering that Justin Trudeau danced around like a fool on his $1.66 million trip to India four years ago, that is saying a lot.
Using social media, Tam has given Canada a recorded conversation between herself and Mrs. Claus for “Santa’s holiday health check.”
Parents and Caregivers, I had a great chat with Mrs. Claus about things we can do to make this a happy and healthy holiday season. Here’s the scoop from the #NorthPole: pic.twitter.com/pgKY5NPEyV
— Dr. Theresa Tam (@CPHO_Canada) December 21, 2022
The video begins with Tam pushing some phone buttons before she waits for the call to connect. Now, if I were being a stickler, I would be asking why she presses only four buttons, and why she is using a phone for a Zoom-style call with the North Pole.
As the phone, or Zoom call, rings, she says to the camera: “Well, kids, I’m just doing my yearly call to the North Pole for Santa’s holiday health check.”
For some reason, she can’t smile, which is a bit strange for a message directed at kids.
As the call connects, you can hear Saint Nick in the background saying “Ho, ho, ho, hooooohhhmmm,” as we are informed that Santa can’t take the call because he is doing “snow yoga” as a way to train for Christmas.
At this point, we are only a mere 15 seconds into the clip, but we have a botched Zoom call and Santa engaging in a pagan religious practice without any mention of the fact that the holiday is Christmas.
But wait, it gets better.
Tam asks if the Clauses are “all set for the holiday season.” We still aren’t sure which holiday she is talking about, but I imagine it is that amorphous pagan snow yoga holiday that we all know and love.
Mrs. Claus, with what seems like a maritime accent – perhaps due to the North Pole’s proximity to the northern seas – says her heart is warmed by all the little children doing what they can to keep the holidays “safe and cheerful for all.”
I haven’t checked the history books, but perhaps in the past it was children who had a habit of ruining the pagan snow yoga holiday season whilst taking away the seasonal cheer.
Tam indicates that she is especially happy with the compliant little boys and girls in the lead up to the snow yoga holiday, and that all the children in Canada are on the “nice list.”
As you do when you are trying to spread snow yoga holiday joy, Tam shifts from the subject of the nice list to talking about viruses and illness. Nothing says warm seasonal greetings like hanging up your yoga pants over your space heater and cuddling up on the couch with a nice warm cup of oat-milk nog while listening to traditional carols about RSV and influenza.
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Jabbed Santa
Mrs. Claus then confirms for inquiring minds that the elderly couple are up-to-date with their vaccinations, even the bivalent boosters. Now, I find this interesting, considering how remote Canada’s uppermost regions of Nunavut and the Northwest Territories are. We keep hearing about a shortage of healthcare workers and medicine for children, but I guess Trudeau will stop at nothing to ensure ample vaccinations are shipped to Santa to prepare for snow yoga season.
That said, I have heard that elves are terrible super-spreaders, so it is better to be safe than sorry.
Mrs. Claus then pulls out a list of things for kids to remember during yoga-tide.
“Stay up to date on your vaccinations,” she says and tells kids to celebrate with masks on if they are in a crowded place.
In a fit of snow yoga season cheer, Mrs. Claus begins to sing the traditional yoga-tide carol, Jingle Bells, with a tonality and sincerity that would touch your heart even more than myocarditis does.
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After the carolling subsides, Tam tells people to celebrate with the doors or windows open to let in fresh air. I am sure Canadians will love heating the outdoors during the coldest time of the year, what with the record high inflation and fuel prices they have dealt with all year.
In case there is any confusion about how to follow Mrs. Claus and Tam’s holiday instructions, Mrs. Claus says you could think of it like decorating a tree. I didn’t know that snow yoga season worshippers decorated trees.
In conclusion, if you are thinking of participating in the snow yoga holiday season, make sure that when you are doing yoga outside and around others, make sure you mind your footing on the ice, and wear a mask.
We are all in this together!
